Save Me
by Zebiax
Summary: After Emi tells Hisao that they're done, he writes a letter to her expressing the things he never got the chance to actually say... and tries his best to move on with his life. However, the words in Hisao's letter are exactly the words that Emi's been dying to hear... and she's left wondering if it's too late to bring him back and mend their relationship.
1. Looking Straight Ahead

**Author's Note: So I just finished Emi's route and I really enjoyed it... but a part of me really wanted to let Emi squirm... because, let's face it... she was a bit of a bitch. So... that's all this really is. This is going to be an alternate ending for Emi... that starts off at the point towards the absolute end of the bad ending, where Hisao leaves Emi after she pretty much dumps him.**

* * *

Hisao enters his room and resets his alarm.

_Emi and I have had our last encounter._

He sighs and sits on his bed, wondering where it all went wrong, where he could have done something different, and how he could have made things work out.

Sighing, he looks over at his desk where the letter from Iwanoko rests. He closes his eyes and thinks about all the things he wished he could've said. All of the things he wished he could've told Emi, but she never really gave him a chance to.

He's reminded of her laugh and her smile, the latter making him smile in turn. He thinks about all the time he's spent with her and enjoyed by her side, even though their relationship was cut short so soon.

_It was fun._

Realizing that he's got a pretty wide smile on his face and taking the thought he just had into account, Hisao laughs as he notices just how much Emi's rubbed off on him. Hisao decides he's going to keep running in the evenings, and hell, maybe he'll take Shizune up on her offer to join the Student Council or start hanging out with Lilly or even Hanako when he's reading. He tries to avoid thinking about spending any time with Rin, given how often she's with Emi.

With a newfound sense of optimism, he looks over at Iwanoko's letter again. Iwanoko sent that letter to bring closure between them. Nodding to himself, Hisao takes out a sheet of paper and a pen and begins to do the same. His life with Emi is over, and he's gonna let it go and with this letter, tell her all the things he wish he could've said, so he can move forward from this.

* * *

Misha approaches him in class the next morning, bubbly as ever with Shizune silently following her. They both seem to brighten when they see Hisao.

"Hicchan! How did it go yesterday? Did you and Emi make up?"

Hisao chuckles softly. "Not exactly, we broke up."

Misha's eyes widen, followed by Shizune's after Misha translates.

"That doesn't make any sense, you seem… happier… why? Yeah, Hicchan, why?" Misha parrots the question after saying what Shizune signed.

Hisao shrugs. "I dunno… I guess it was just the actual fight that was bothering me more than how I thought it would be resolved. Now that it's over and done with… I guess… I guess I'm just over it."

Misha and Shizune share a look of confusion, clearly unsure of how to continue the conversation. Luckily, Mutou enters, and they leave Hisao to get to their own seats. Mutou's lesson intrigues Hisao to the point that he spends lunch with Mutou, discussing it further in their two-man "Science Club".

As the bell rings to signal the end of the day, Hisao gets up and walks over to Hanako, who seems to almost tremble as he approaches. Hisao smiles and holds his hands up in front of him defensively, "Whoa, hey, Hanako, relax. I was wondering… are you doing anything specific today? I'm in need of good reading material and I was wondering if you could help me out with that."

Her eyes seem to dart around rapidly, looking quickly for an out. Eventually, she speaks up.

"I…"

Hisao raises an eyebrow at her. "I…?"

"Ivegottagodosomething!"

She blurts out and all but bolts from her seat and down the hall. Hisao thinks about chasing after her, but decides against it and sighs. "Ah well, guess that's out." Hisao makes his way to the library anyway and takes out a handful of books, then walks over to the track to see Emi in the middle of practice. After confirming that she's there and going to be there for a while, he makes his way to the girls' dormitory and over to her room. He pulls the letter he wrote out of his back pocket and slides it under her door and turns around to leave.

He bumps into a tall, familiar figure on his way out of the building. "Oops, sorry about that, I wasn't…"

"My, my, is that you, Hisao? What brings you here?"

Hisao manages to make out Lilly's voice and manner of speaking and nods at her, before remembering that she can't see him.

"Uh, yeah, it's me. And nothing big really, just stopping by…"

He trails off, trying to find a good way to explain just what he was doing at the girls' dorm.

Flashing him a playful grin, she raises her eyebrows at him. "Now, now, Hisao, you're not here doing something ungentlemanly, are you? Emi's by the track at this hour, I'd assume you'd know that."

He laughs softly at her remark before answering, "Nah, nothing of the sort… And Emi and I broke up."

Lilly's light mood changes upon hearing this new development. "Oh my… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

Hisao smiles, trying to ignore how odd it feels to be smiling over their break-up. "Please, Lilly, don't apologize, there's nothing that could be done about it, and you certainly weren't involved with the outcome."

Lilly frowns. "Well, I didn't need to bring it up. Surely, it bothers you."

Hisao meets her concern with another laugh. "You had no way of knowing. And it really doesn't. I'm… I'm over it. It was fun while it lasted… but we've both agreed that it's better this way." Hisao ignores the small voice in the back of his head that says 'Well… Emi decided and I listened.'

Lilly still seems to be at a bit of a loss, but nods none-the-less. "Very well… Um, have you seen Hanako, by any chance? She didn't meet me outside of your classroom, and we had plans for today."

_I guess she did have something she had to do._

"Ah, sorry… I'm probably to blame for that. After class today, I went up to her to ask her if she was busy today and if she could help me find some books. She bolted from the classroom claiming she had to do something."

Lilly's expression fills with worry as she hears this. She sighs before saying "Sorry Hisao… Hanako's shy to a fault, although I'm sure you've probably noticed that. I was going to try the library after her dorm room… but when she flees from others, she usually locks herself in her room, so I don't think that'll be necessary. I'm terribly sorry she's troubled you."

"It's no trouble at all, I just hope I didn't scare her. If you find her, please apologize for me… and let me know if you two wanna hang out. I really haven't spoken to either of you that much since I've gotten here, so I'd love the chance." Lilly smiles and nods as they exchange farewells.

Hisao finds a comfortable spot on the grounds to read one of his books until the sky grows dark. He then heads to the track and begins his daily stretch and run before heading back to his dorm for a shower and going to bed.

* * *

**Author's Note: I already have chapter 2 completely written out, but I'm probably gonna wait a while before I post it. Something about Katawa Shoujo that kinda bothered me is that the girls are pretty much paired in twos (Hanako & Lilly, Rin & Emi, and Misha & Shizune, even though Misha doesn't actually have a route) and once you've chosen a route... your interactions with the other girls are cut pretty short. So, I kinda wanted to let Hisao talk to the other girls more since he's split up with Emi for the time being. Please review and tell me what you guys think.**


	2. Response to a One-Sided Goodbye

**Author's Note: FF has been a little buggy for me for a few days now and it was hell figuring out why. Apparently it seems to have fixed itself, so here's chapter 2. Now... I'm probably a horrible human being and will burn in hell for putting poor, lil', puppy-eye Emi through the emotional wringer, but I honestly feel bad for Hisao having to do nearly EVERYTHING in their relationship. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Emi sighs as she makes her way into her room after a long day at practice. She's worn out, pretty sure she pushed herself a little too hard today. The thought of Hisao kept popping into her mind and she kept running faster in an attempt to shut him out.

She sighed as he drifted into her mind again. It was for the best. She knew it. Today was their first day apart. Tomorrow would be their second… and she was sure it would be the hardest… just like with a workout. But she could do it. She knew she could.

A crunching sound interrupts her thoughts from underneath one of her prosthetic legs. She picks it up and reads her name on the crumpled envelope.

She opens it up and reads it carefully.

* * *

_Dear Emi,_

_I know you're mad at me and that you've said your goodbye… but I really hope you don't throw this away immediately, because this is my way of saying goodbye since I never got a chance. There were a lot of things I never got the chance to say to you… and I'd really like you to read all the way through this so that everything I wish I could've said can get through to you._

_I wanted to help you… I wanted to make you happy. It became obviously clear that you didn't want or need my help… that you were determined to get through it on your own… but in the end, I still wanted to help you… because I wanted to make you as happy as you'd made me. I know you thought that I wanted to "fix" or "save" you from your emotional pains... and even now I'm pretty sure a part of me did. But more than just helping a damsel in distress, I just… wanted to be with you, and I wanted you to be happy while I was with you. But in the end that didn't work out so well, which brings me to my next point…_

_I know that there's no more us. I know you don't need me… and I know I'll eventually stop needing you. You've helped me greatly since I've come to Yamaku… and I only wish I could've done something in return. But… these things happen, I guess. You never told me just what it is that makes you so unhappy, but whatever it is, I'm sure you'll pull through, I just hope it doesn't take too long._

_Also… I just want to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for trying to push you. I'm sorry for trying to help you. I'm sorry for trying to get closer to you. I'm sorry for everything I should've done or said but didn't. I'm sorry for everything I shouldn't have done or said but did._

_I love you, Emi. I really, really do… and I don't think I've ever really said so. But it's true. It's why I wasn't satisfied being kept at arm's length and it's why I wasn't satisfied with letting you suffer alone. It's why I couldn't be happy with you not trusting me the way you did. You told me that you couldn't rely on me. That you'd never let me close… and that tore me apart. To love you so deeply just to find that I'd never make it past your emotional barrier really hurt. But most importantly… it's why I've given up. It's so clear that you can't handle someone loving you… because you'll never return that love since you can't risk losing it. So with all of that off of my chest… Goodbye Emi._

_It was fun,_

_Hisao_

* * *

Emi plops down onto her bed as tears began to form in her eyes. Hisao loved her. He really loved her. And she'd… she'd sent him running off. How could she be so stupid?

Emi had always been in control of their relationship. She set the pace. She had tried hard not to fall in love with him and even after that she tried to keep him at a distance like with her previous boyfriend, but to no avail. Eventually she just cut him off and shoved him away for good… never realizing that she never really gave Hisao a chance with her. He tried so hard for her… and she tried so hard to get him to stop.

_I love you, Emi._

_You'd never let me close… and that tore me apart._

All this time… she was so afraid of loving him because she didn't want to lose him… when that's exactly what she'd put Hisao through. He'd fallen for her… and then he felt a distance dropped between them due to her own selfish fear.

_But… these things happen, I guess._

For so long… she'd lived in the moment with the mentality that "things happen" and that there's nothing anyone can do about it. She kept people from getting close to her so that she could avoid getting her heart broken if and when "those things" that happened took the people she loved away from her. Yet… the words Hisao wrote mock her with their irony. She pushed him away for good to protect her heart… and it breaks as she reads his final words to her.

_Goodbye Emi._

_It was fun, Hisao._

Emi sighs as she thinks about how terrible she is at saying goodbye. Her words to Hisao were hardly heartfelt as she ended their relationship abruptly to protect herself… She was so sure that she could just live happily with fond memories of him in her heart… but her heart bleeds as she curses herself for her stupidity and her fear. _'It was fun'_… the words she's defined her life by. Never regretting anything… only looking back to the happy times and using them to move forward. Those words seem to simply laugh at her pain.

Emi wipes her tears, only to feel more drip out of her eyes. She puts Hisao's letter onto her desk, removes her legs, and curls up onto her bed… she tries her best to fall asleep, even with tears continuously dripping from her eyes. Her heart aches and she just wishes… wishes that he were here… as if somehow he knew his letter would make her want to see him… and he'd come, and she could hold him and kiss him. Emi doesn't remember how long she stares longingly at the door and crying before sleep takes her.

* * *

Emi remembers this dream. She remembers it clearly and she remembers having it so many nights before. She's scared… and she's alone. Her legs end at her thighs, and all she can do is helplessly sit there and think about how dark it is… and how there's nobody there with her at all. Suddenly she spots her father, running by in workout clothes. He doesn't seem to notice her at all, and runs right past her. She calls out to him helplessly.

"Dad! Wait… come back!"

He doesn't hear her. She tries to pull herself towards him using only her arms, but she knows it's no use. This nightmare is always the same.

Suddenly, her running prosthetics seem to appear out of thin air and onto her legs. A track stretches across the floor of the darkness. Emi's eyes light up and she grins widely. This is a new development in her dream that she'd never had before. She shoots off, taking comfort in the ability to run. She grins with determination as she sprints as fast as she can, the only thoughts in her head focused on her breathing, the next curve, and the rhythm of her legs as she dashes forward.

A blur shoots past her and she's surprised to see Hisao turn his head to smile and wink at her. Her heart flutters… and her eyes narrow as she sprints to catch up to him. She knows she can. He's no match for her…

Or so she thought. Emi pushes her legs as fast as they'll go… but somehow Hisao stays ahead of her… if anything, the distance between them growing wider. She pushes harder, but she can't seem to get any closer to him.

Out of breath, she tries to call out to him… but he doesn't hear her… or if he does, he doesn't turn around to acknowledge her.

"H-Hisao… wait… p-please, hold on!"

He turns around and waves her over, yelling. "Come on, you slow poke! I thought you were the fastest thing on no legs!"

His teasing tone echoes in her ears… but she trips over herself, falling to the ground. Emi notices that her running prosthetics seem to have dissolved back into the thin air they appeared from and she's left helpless on the ground for the second time in her dream. Hisao keeps running, and his back gets smaller and eventually begins to disappear as the distance between them expands.

She quietly calls out for Hisao… even knowing full well he's not coming back.

"Hisao… please… don't leave me here…"

The darkness around her offers no comfort.

Her own voice sounds out around her. "So you wanna fix me, Hisao? Swoop in on your white charger and save the day? Well, you _can't!_"

Emi shakes her head. "No… I-I don't mean that… I… I just…"

Hisao's voice echoes around her in response. "I love you Emi… but I know there's no more us. I know you don't need me… so… goodbye. It was fun."

Emi's heart throbs as she listens to his voice. She shakes her head some more. "Don't go Hisao! Please! Hisao! Don't leave me here… don't leave me… alone…"

The darkness seems to consume her completely… and there's nothing she can do… nothing she can say.

The only thing she can think before the blackness seems to swallow her whole is…

_Please save me._

* * *

Emi wakes up, covered in a cold sweat. That nightmare was so much worse than all the others. Her heart still aches from the sheer amount of pain that her dreams brought her. Emi looks at her clock. Four in the morning. Wiping a sleeve over her eyes and biting her lip to hold in a sob, she sits up and puts her running prosthetics back on and rubs them, almost afraid they'll disappear from underneath her if she were to stand. She didn't shower after she came back from practice yesterday, but she'll get it done after she runs now. She _really_ needs to run now.

* * *

**Author's Note: I realize that I pretty much took everything from Emi's good ending and put it into Hisao's letter, and it may be a little uncharacteristic of him to know exactly what to say... but that's the beauty of a letter, I guess. He can take everything he's feeling and put it out there plainly without tripping over himself and his awkward feelings. He can let everything out and move on, knowing everything was said and done. Please tell me what you guys thought about this chapter because, as you can see, I've had a bit of inner turmoil on whether it was too much of a stretch for Hisao to be so bold.**

**Edit (6-9-13): Minor grammatical changes here and there.**


	3. Relieved

Hisao awoke early despite the lack of a ringing alarm. The sun shone dimly through the space in between his curtains, but the light was barely enough to illuminate his entire room, let alone wake him up. Hisao just sat up in his bed wondering why his body had roused him without the assistance of sound. He got up and rubbed his eyes and peered over at the clock to check the time. 5:30AM.

He tried to go back to sleep, but found himself to be rather restless, so he downed his morning pills, even if a bit early, and shrugged on his soccer uniform. If he ran right now, he could probably free some time up in the evening. For what, he didn't know, but he might as well.

* * *

Arriving at the track a little after six, he noticed he wasn't alone. Emi was hunched over and breathing heavily with her hands on her knees. A wave of uneasiness washed over him and he slowly backed up to make sure he hadn't been noticed.

"Boo."

The sudden voice behind him made him nearly jump out of his skin. He turned around to see a familiar face grinning widely at him. Not exactly the first person he'd expected to see. "Miura, right?"

"Miki's fine. Surnames are stuffy."

Hisao shrugs. "Okay then. Hisao."

She nods. "So I couldn't help but notice you spying on Emi. Strange really… I wouldn't expect spying to be something you do on someone you're already dating."

Hisao bites his lip nervously, wondering just how well someone who was on the track team with Emi would take it. Hopefully, she wouldn't get confrontational about it. "Well… we're not exactly… not anymore, anyway."

She smiles again, taking it in stride. "Ah, well then, that makes sense. Spy on."

Hisao inwardly breathes a sigh of relief. "What brings you out so early in the morning?"

"Nothin' special really. I may not look it, but I'm an early riser. Just walking the grounds… and I'm naturally drawn to the field," she says as she looks back up to the track. Hisao follows her gaze and notices that Emi begins to walk off to the girls' dorm, seemingly not noticing either of them.

Hisao risks a sideways glance at Emi. She seems really lost in thought, her eyes dark and serious. For a moment, he wonders what's on her mind now. She rarely ever runs to the point where she's as worn out as he saw her a moment ago.

"I was thinkin' of taking a few laps. Care to join me?" Miki breaks his train of thought and stares at him inquisitively.

Despite the fact that he was planning on running, Hisao hesitates to run alongside another track club member. "Uh, you go on ahead, I have this… heart condition… so I kinda have to pace myself."

She grins at him. "Bull shit. You've been running mornings with Emi since a week after you got here. I'm pretty sure you know your limits by now. I don't like putting too much effort in a morning run anyway, you can set the pace."

Hisao smiles as he nods and follows Miki over to the track. She's really easy-going and it'd be nice to actually run alongside a partner as opposed to having her lap him twelve times in the span of five minutes as soon as she gets bored.

They briefly stretch and Hisao starts at a pretty quick pace. Miki stays behind him for a bit as if wondering if he started off a bit too fast and was waiting for him to slow down. When she realizes that he can maintain the speed, she speeds up to meet him and flashes him a bright smile. "You're not bad!"

Hisao scowls. He knows he can keep up the pace… but he's not exactly sure he can talk steadily while doing it. "Th-thanks."

"So what's up with you and Emi? Dunno if you've noticed, but I'm not exactly a girl's girl. I spend more time with guys. So we don't talk all that much."

"We just… had a couple… of fights… and we decided… it wasn't exactly… working out," Hisao struggled with his words, having to pause several times to take deep breaths.

Miki raised an eyebrow. Hisao had no idea how he managed to notice it while he was presently trying to keep all his muscles oxygenated.

"She never seemed to be the type to get into relationships… but she seemed pretty happy around the time you two started getting close. I just hope she doesn't get too stressed out over it and get sloppy or anything."

Bitterness eats at Hisao. She won't. The only reason why she's stressed out is because of her nightmares. She probably doesn't even think about him anymore. She's probably filed the "good times" somewhere in the back of her mind and now that she can run, she'll probably be fine.

Without even realizing it, he's picked up a lot of speed. Miki wears a concerned look on her face as she keeps speeding up to meet him. "Um… are you sure you're not pushing yourself? Sorry about the sensitive subject, if I hit a nerve, but you should probably slow down."

Hisao doesn't know what comes over him, but despite his earlier struggle, adrenaline shoots through him and he grins back at Miki, and his voice is even when he speaks. "Are you kidding me? I could do this all day. Why, you getting a little burnt out?" Hisao can't help the teasing tone in his voice.

Miki seems a little shocked by his transition, but gives him a challenging smirk. "Ha! You've been with Emi too much." Despite their banter, Miki stays alongside him instead of speeding up and leaving him in the dust, something he's pretty sure she's completely capable of. On their last lap, Hisao's energy is completely depleted and his pace drops so much and so suddenly that Miki shoots out in front of him.

"I… don't… think… I… can… finish…"

He was still jogging, but he could probably be beaten in a race by a power-walker at his current speed. His legs are on fire and his heart is racing. Miki gives him a devilish grin and jogs behind him, smacking his ass with her right hand. "Don't be such a wuss!"

Hisao sprints forward on the last stretch, finishing the final lap and placing his arms behind his head before turning around to see Miki laughing hysterically as she jogs over to him.

Miki had been so laid back and relaxed all this time that Hisao honestly forgot that he was jogging with another girl. He instantly felt heat climbing up into his cheeks. "Why did you do that!?" Hisao asked, trying not to let his embarrassment show in his voice, despite how obvious it was on his face.

Miki brings her left arm up against her forehead, wiping beats of sweat away. She grins widely at him before answering, "Dunno. Seemed like it'd get you going… no regrets though, that was hilarious."

Hisao sighs as he slowly walks, trying to focus on his heartbeat. It's stopped racing, but he couldn't help but notice something out of place.

"I need to stop by the nurse's office." Hisao says out loud, not noticing he did so until Miki nods at him. "I'll go with you… I haven't gotten my bandages changed in a while, and even though I can do it myself, it's so much more comfortable when I let him take care of it." Miki absently rubs her left forearm as she says this.

Hisao's gaze lingers on her stump of a left hand for a bit too long, and Miki catches him staring. "Oh… um… ah… sorry…" he apologizes nervously. Miki smiles at him. "It's all right. It's not as bad as you'd think. It just… takes getting used to is all."

"I don't think I could handle that, no offense. I just, would get really frustrated every time I'd need both hands or something. I might've gone crazy. It's really cool that you've adapted and accept it so casually."

Miki looks at his chest. "To be fair, I don't think I could handle what you've got. Having to worry about my heart every time I do anything strenuous. I'd be so afraid to do anything. I think it's really cool that you took up running despite your condition. Not that I know the details… but if it's your heart, it's gotta be pretty serious."

"If I take my meds and watch myself, my condition's hardly noticeable. It's really not hard to deal with." Hisao told her reassuringly, attempting to dispel the concerned look she had pinned on him.

Miki grinned. "When I was little… I really thought I had the opportunity to become a cyborg."

"What?" Her matter of fact statement surprised him and he was really confused for a moment.

Miki laughed at his reaction. "Yeah. I kept asking doctors if they could attach laser guns or robot hands to me."

"Well… you can dream." Hisao laughed as he imagined a giant, metal cannon attached to her left arm instead of the bandages. He liked her. Miki was easy to be around, and she made it really easy for him to ignore his faux pas and his complete lack of social graces.

* * *

The two of them walk off the track and head to the nurse's office. Hisao knocks twice and pushes his way in, despite not receiving an invitation from inside.

The nurse smiles upon seeing him enter, then raises an eyebrow as Miki follows him in. "Well then, this is different. I didn't know you two knew each other."

Hisao rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, we just decided to run together this morning."

Miki waved her left arm at the nurse. "Yo, was hopin' for a bandage change."

The nurse nodded at her and turned to Hisao. "And you, Hisao? It's been a while. I had assumed you had a good idea of your limits and didn't need to see me after every run."

Hisao sighed. "Yeah, but I pushed myself a little harder today then I should have. No chest pains, but after I cooled down, my heart sounded off. I dunno what it was exactly… but I figured I should just be sure."

He smiled. "Well, I'm glad you're being careful. Let's take care of it, then."

Hisao shook his head and tilted his head over to Miki. "It's not that bad, I can wait. Besides, I kinda wanted to talk to you about something. Ladies first. I'll be outside."

Miki smiled at Hisao and nodded appreciatively. "Thanks, Hisao. We won't be long."

Hisao made his way out of the nurse's office and leaned against the wall outside the door. He could hear Miki and the nurse talking, but he couldn't make out anything they were saying. After a couple of minutes, Miki exited the office and tapped him on the shoulder with her left forearm.

As Hisao turned around, she grinned at him and inclined her head towards the inside of the office. "All you."

He walked into the office after saying goodbye to her to see the nurse giving him a sly smirk. "So, are you gonna make a habit of bringing different girls into my office?" Hisao rolled his eyes as he took his shirt off. "I've started running in the evenings as opposed to the mornings. This morning, I got up really early so I figured I might as well run since I had nothing better to do. She just happened to be there too."

The nurse nodded at him as he began the check-up. The stethoscope was ice-cold, and Hisao flinched as it made contact with his skin. "What did you want to talk about?"

Hisao sighed, this was it. He'd have to tell the nurse, and then the nurse would put poison in his meds. He highly doubted he'd make it past the week. "Emi dumped me."

The nurse frowned at him. "You two aren't together anymore? I had such high hopes too."

Hisao brought a hand up to rub his temples. "Well… Emi's Emi. No matter what I did, I couldn't get through to her, and she pretty much kicked me out of her life."

The nurse looked at him with an unreadable expression. Fear shot through Hisao. "Y-you're not gonna kill me are you?"

The nurse laughed at his reaction. "God, no. I was just thinking about how stubborn the girl is. It's the greatest and worst thing about her."

Hisao narrowed his eyes, not convinced. "You sure? Because I'm sure there's a hospital or doctor's office in the city that I could get my stuff from. Somewhere nice and safe."

The nurse grinned widely at him. "That won't be necessary. Like you said, Emi is Emi, and I'm sure you did all you could." He pulled his stethoscope off of Hisao's chest and gave him an encouraging smile. "Your heart seems to be okay. I noticed what you were talking about but I'm fairly certain it's nothing to be worried about. Just don't push yourself that hard next time and come back if you have any problems."

Hisao thanked him and pulled his shirt back over his head. He began to make his way out of the nurse's office but something forced him to turn back. "Hey… has Emi been skipping out on her check-ups at all?"

The nurse seemed surprised by the question, and he seemed reluctant to answer. "I'm not sure if I can tell you that, now that things have gone bad between you two."

Hisao took a deep breath, "Please, just let me know. Emi's made it clear that she wants nothing to do with me anymore… and, respecting that, I'm just trying to move on with my life. But at the same time I'm still worried about her. Hell, thinking about her is the reason why I pushed myself so hard today. Promise me you'll find someone else that'll push her and nag her to come see you and that you'll keep her as physically healthy as possible?"

The nurse nodded solemnly at him. "Emi's been here after her runs for the most part. And I'll always keep her as healthy as possible, I promise. You're a good kid, Hisao."

Hisao smiled as relief spread through him. "Thanks."

Hisao seemed to really genuinely care about Emi so much that the nurse did something he's never done before. "Look, Hisao… if you want me to talk to Emi for you… I usually don't do this sort of thing, but I think I can make an exception this one time. I mean, Emi really did seem to like you…" he trailed off, unsure of what exactly he was doing. He was no therapist and this wasn't exactly a very professional interaction.

Hisao shook his head. "If Emi really wants to fix what we had, she'll come find me. All of Emi's will power is driven by what she really wants. Everyone calls it determination when it's good but stubbornness when it's bad. Even you said that it's her best and worst quality. I'm done with fighting with her and I'm not gonna coerce her into being with me through you. If she needs me, she'll find a way."

Hisao didn't know when he got so levelheaded when thinking about his relationship with Emi, but the sense of anxiety he kept burying under a smile was gone. He wasn't Emi. He couldn't just smile and move forward, no matter how desperately he tried to. Now that he had time to think about it and come to terms with it, he felt at ease.

The nurse smiled at him. "Very well, then. Don't be a stranger, Hisao."


	4. Jealousy & Ire

_Please save me._

Emi jolts awake, the pain in her nightmare echoing through her very being. She swipes at the tears dripping from her eyes. Today is the hardest, tomorrow it'll get easier. She can do this. She slips on her running prosthetics and her gym uniform and heads over to the track.

She notices that there's someone else at the track, stretching for a run. She realizes that it's not Hisao and tries to shake off the feeling of disappointment that fills her.

_It's good he's not here, makes it easier to forget about him._

She tries to convince herself, but she can't seem to summon the enthusiasm to make the thought feel genuine. Sighing, she jogs up and greets her fellow track team member before stretching.

"Hey Miki."

Miki turns to her and grins. "Sup?"

"Nothing much. Practicing for the next meet?"

Miki frowns and shakes her head. "I ran with Hisao yesterday morning. Was hoping he'd run with me again, but he's nowhere to be found, probably still sleeping."

Hisao ran with Miki? A pang of jealousy rushed through her, followed by anger. She shouldn't be jealous. She was done with Hisao. She tried her best to sound neutral…

"Oh really? I was running yesterday morning too, I didn't see you two."

Miki grinned at her and nodded. "Yeah, considering he was trying his best to avoid you. We saw you on the track, and he hid. We ran after you went off to the dorm or something like that."

Emi's heart ached at hearing that. He went out of his way to avoid her. Hisao wanted nothing to do with her anymore. The pain just made her even angrier. Miki looked at her intently.

"What?" Emi's voice betrayed her and was heavy with rage.

Miki raised an eyebrow. "I knew it. Hisao gets to you."

Emi scowled. "What do you know?" she said between clenched teeth, and took off before Miki got a chance to answer.

Miki dashed up to her. Miki was a great runner, but Emi knew she could out-do her. She pushed her legs as hard and as fast as they could go… but almost effortlessly, Miki stayed right next to her. In fact, she wasn't even breaking a sweat while Emi could feel her lungs swelling with the need for more air. It pissed her off.

"I know that you can't seem to stop thinking about him. It makes you sloppy."

The matter-of-fact tone in Miki's voice hit Emi hard, but she ignored her and pushed her legs harder. She _could_ outrun Miki. She knew she could. She's done it in countless meets and in countless track practices before.

Miki grinned at her and pulled a little bit ahead of her. "Your form is terrible. You're not running with that strong determination that you usually run with. You're running _from_ your own fear. You're not running towards the next curve. You're running from your own thoughts and the pain entwined with them. You're focused on what's behind you, not what's ahead of you."

Why did Miki get to toy with her like this? It wasn't fair. They'd barely ever talked before, and now Miki got to play the expert in all things Emi? Fuck that.

"Sh-shut up!"

Emi's legs came to a grinding halt. She was so out of breath and her vision blurred from exhaustion. No, not exhaustion… tears rolled down her cheeks and mixed with the sweat dripping from her forehead. Emi rubbed her left forearm over her eyes, wiping them away.

"I'm done," Emi said with the full weight of her irritation evident in her voice. She'd never get to focus on running with Miki right beside her, forcing her to think about Hisao.

Miki sucked her teeth. "You're so easy to anger, Emi. I pity Hisao for loving you."

Emi couldn't handle Miki's aloof attitude towards her relationship with Hisao. She turned and faced Miki, her voice filled with pure ire. "What the fuck makes you think you know a damn thing about me? You can't judge me. You don't know anything."

Miki rolled her eyes, completely ignoring Emi's fury. "I know you're a girl at the core, Emi. It's why we've never spent any time together. And I know that Hisao changed you. I know he made you genuinely happy. There's a difference between being cheerful and being happy, and I saw that change in you while you two were together."

Miki crossed her arms and raised her brow, waiting for… almost challenging Emi to retort with her full wrath in hand. When she fails to answer, Miki pushes on, "I spent an hour with Hisao yesterday. In that hour, I learned that he's caring, considerate, and a little unsure of himself. I know those are only small facets of his personality, but guys like him generally don't cause problems in relationships. That leaves me with you. Guys like Hisao generally tend to get used and abused by girls until they're mentally drained from relationships and shy away from them. I know you probably wouldn't take advantage of someone like that, so what am I left with? Him being caring and considerate… and you being stubborn."

Miki sighs as she continues, "I don't need to 'know a damn thing about you'. You're struggling, and you hide behind your anger because being angry at the world is easier than facing it. You may think it'll keep people away from you, but it makes people worry about you all the more. Nobody wants to say a thing because we all know that you'll take care of it yourself, sooner or later. But I'm fairly certain that you can't run from Hisao."

Emi's been glaring at Miki with malicious intent, but doesn't interrupt her or blow up in her face. She didn't trust Miki. She was observant, yes, but that didn't mean anything to Emi. Maybe Miki made Emi eat her words… but way deep down, Miki didn't _understand_.

Miki narrows her eyes at Emi. "None of this is getting through to you, is it? I feel like I'm scolding a child who just threw a tantrum." After searching her expression for a moment, still finding nothing but anger, Miki shrugs, the action seeming to cleanse her mind of the last ten minutes she's spent berating Emi. "It's whatever. I'm just saying… you keep up what you've got now… you'll eventually stop being the star of the track team."

With a grin and a casual salute with her left arm, Miki takes off around the track. Emi watches Miki's lithe form speed around the track. She wears a wide grin as sweat beads on her face. Emi knew what Miki was feeling all too well. Determination. Seeing what was directly in front of you and knowing it was completely in your reach if you gave everything you've got. She missed that feeling. She depended on that feeling to soothe her emotional problems. Yet here she stood, completely abandoned by it.

Emi took a deep breath and began to walk off the track and towards the nurse's office. Emi heard Miki skid to a stop as she noticed Emi leaving. "Good luck, Emi," Miki called out to her before taking off yet again.

* * *

The nurse noticed that Emi was in a mood. Out of respect for her, he quickly inspected her prosthetics and almost seemed eager to rush her out the door. It upset her greatly. The nurse and her mom were probably the only two people who knew Emi's whole story, and they seemed so ready to sweep Emi's bad moods under the rug and just leave her alone.

"What's the rush?"

The nurse simply laughed at her, "Really Emi? _You're_ asking _me_ what the rush is? You're _always_ rushing. Your check-up's done. Your legs are fine. Matter of fact, it seems like you barely even ran. Unless there's something you specifically want to talk about, you're pretty much all good."

Sadness filled Emi. "We're more than a nurse and a student. We've known each other for a while… and yet you don't seem to want me here that much."

He raised an eyebrow at her before answering. "Emi, I love having you in my office. I don't have to worry about professionalism and our banter brightens my day. But _you've_ never been fond of my office. You hate coming in for check-ups and you've avoided coming in for days at a time, despite the fact that you'd be in pain."

He was right. But why did she care now? Why did she want to just confess to the nurse that she had no idea what to do with herself? Why did she want to beg for his help? What the fuck was wrong with her!? Her uncertainty triggered her anger… but she was just so tired of being angry that she let it go almost as soon as she felt it.

_Hisao changed you._

"Emi?" The nurse's voice pulled her from her torrent of painful thoughts. She smiled cheerfully at him, even though she knew how extremely fake it looked. "Sorry… I've just… been doing a lot of thinking."

He met her forced smile with his usual, wide grin. "Uh-oh."

She playfully punched his shoulder and her smile became a bit more genuine. "You're an ass."

The nurse rubbed his shoulder and ruffled her hair. "You'll figure it out."

Somehow, that lifted her spirits. Despite how much she was suffering with what was going on with Hisao… the nurse believed she would pull through it. After all, he'd seen her do it so many times before. Emi nodded to herself.

_Today is the hardest day. Tomorrow will be easier._

She took a deep breath and clung to it like a mantra.

_Today is the hardest day. Tomorrow will be easier._

Emi decides to skip out on class. She heads to the track and spends the better part of the day running.

_Today is the hardest day. Tomorrow will be easier._

She goes for a second check-up with the nurse late in the evening. He smiles as he notices her shift in attitude. "Better already, huh? I knew you'd get it under control."

_Today is the hardest day. Tomorrow will be easier._

She showers and heads off to bed. The words echo through her and she closes her eyes and seems to glare at the darkness from behind her eyelids, challenging her nightmares to attack her.

_Today is the hardest day. Tomorrow will be easier._

* * *

Sleep takes her to a dreamless state. No dreams. No nightmares. Just Emi's lost conscience in the dark. She took comfort in this. She smiles triumphantly to herself.

_I did it._

_I knew you could._

Hisao's voice fills her head and fear grips her like a vice. She falls back on her anger. She was so close. She was so fucking close and there he was again.

"FUCK YOU, HISAO!"

She screams out to the black.

"FUCK YOU! GO AWAY!"

_You're so easy to anger, Emi. I pity Hisao for loving you._

An image of Hisao and Miki running alongside one another flashes in her mind and an unwelcome feeling of jealousy washes over her. Miki's got her usual, aloof grin on her face… but something seems out of place. Her smile almost feels sinister.

Miki makes eye contact with Emi and narrows her eyes. "Oh, look who it is."

Hisao turns and his eyes widen in surprise. "Hi Emi."

Emi doesn't say anything. It's just a dream. A nightmare. She clenched her teeth.

_Today is the hardest day. Tomorrow will be easier._

Miki pulls on Hisao's arm and scoffs. "She's not worth it, Hisao. Look at her. She doesn't give a shit about you anymore. She can't even say 'hi' back to you."

"Shut up, Miki."

Emi's eyes widen. What did he just say? She looked up at him and he walked up to her, his strides slow and torturous. Miki stands behind him, her arms crossed and her expression unreadable. Hisao reaches out to her, his hand nearly brushing her cheek. The look in his eyes fills her with anguish.

Hisao curls his hand into a fist and forces himself to pull away from her. Miki walks in front of Hisao, her arms still crossed. "You have nothing to say to him? Nothing? Look at him, Emi. Look at him!"

She forces herself to look Hisao in the eye, but he seems to refuse to do the same. He looks conflicted. He looks scared. She wants him so bad… but this is only a nightmare. She shakes her head and tightly clenches her eyes shut. It didn't matter if she reached out for him… she'd wouldn't have him. Not here, not now.

The bitter, painful laughter she hears breaks her heart. "She hates me." She opens her eyes and is nearly undone. Hisao laughs… but tears flow from his eyes. Miki solemnly shook her head. "She's not worth it, Hisao."

Miki hugs him. Slowly, he wraps his arms around her. Miki tilts her head up and Hisao leans his head down towards her.

_No…_

* * *

**Author's Note: So... this sets a pattern that I'm sure you'll notice in upcoming chapters. I started on this line of thinking and I just couldn't stop. I really wanted to make this story a little painful, but short and sweet. I wanted the general idea to be "Hisao accepts the break-up between him and Emi, moves on with his life, and Emi wants him back but is too stubborn to really admit it"... but as I got deeper into it, I realized that Hisao was never one to adapt so quickly. It took him a long time just to adapt to going to Yamaku, so getting over the ending of a relationship with someone he cared so much about would probably be even harder. So, the result is a plot switch where Hisao slowly adapts to a life without Emi... at Emi's expense. It's mean, it's cruel, and it's absolutely evil. But I feel that at the resolution, if I ever get that far, they will be two more complete people with a greater sense of happiness. Read my profile, I'm all about this shit. Please leave me a review and let me know what you guys think. Hope you enjoyed!**

**Edit / Update (7-17-13): Changed "thing" to "think" spelling error. So, lack of feedback kind of made me assume that the story was rather stale. That was pretty much all it took to lose the writing drive and let it sit incomplete, however, upon revisiting my account to get started on a Borderlands 2 fic, 3 reviews gave me a string of hope. Hopefully I'll be posting an update in the next couple of days.**


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